For a week and a half now, after heavy evaluation of my life, I cut the grass found the snakes, and basically said goodbye to every thing and everyone who brought me down in the past few months. With a little hope and a little luck I reached a state of contentment.
My days are brighter, my smiles are bigger, and progression is rapidly rising. It’s amazing how much you can get done when you focus on the more important things in life. It’s amazing how much happier you become when you cut ties with people who are only around to bring you down with them. Lately luck has been my best friend, resentment is a thing of the past, and my future is looking brighter each and everyday I get something accomplished. I need to be around positive people, and slowly but surely my surroundings are just getting better.
So today I had a photo shoot with a world-renowned Graffiti artist named Tilt. I actually had 2 shoots with him, 1 for kid robot whom he is sponsored by, and one for his new book (fully clothed of course, considering most of his bubble girls are nakey). Tilt is also sponsored by Adidas, he does amazing graffiti with a hint of fetishism. He’s not only an amazing artist but an amazing friend, we met while I was getting lunch at cafe duke. What sets Tilt apart from other graffiti artists is that he paints on women like paper, does a photo shoot, and then paints a big piece of her name somewhere in that vicinity. That alone makes a girl feel special. Then after the shoot he asks them what’s the worst thing that has ever happened to you and whats your biggest fantasy, you don’t have to state your name but you do have to tell your thoughts. After you write it down, he puts it in this box of thoughts, and he takes them and paints them some where in the world. It’s almost like story telling even when you are not in that present area, people can still read your thoughts. That type of artistic mind frame amazes me, I think his passion for art will take him very far in life. A lot of the girls he shoots are all half-naked but it’s really up to them to make that decision, clearly he’s not even into naked women but more into the shoes they wear and how they present themselves. I felt so comfortable doing the shoot, I wasn’t naked of course, I wore an AP lingerie set with a Hood, and a tank and shorts for another session of the photo shoot. It was awesome, he made sure I was comfortable, I pretty much blew bubbles the whole time and joked with him for the whole shoot, so It was natural, It was me.
One day while I was at work he surprised me with a tee-shirt that I LOVE. I can’t express my appreciation for this package he dropped off at my job a week ago. It was a big folder with my name on it, and inside wrapped in hot pink paper was a book and a shirt he designed.
God I miss San Diego and all of the BP cruisers. Ever since I came back I’ve just been working on how I’m going to get back to San Diego. The people and the culture was just beautiful, I want to bop, jive, and stroll. I want to see hot rods and wear all of my 50’s dresses that have been collecting dust since I got my new uniformed job.
So here’s the plan.
I’m going to go to Viva Las Vegas this year. The C.O if Bettie page clothing told me that If I go to Viva she wants me to model in the runway show. That would be pretty awesome to participate in such a huge event. I’m so excited. I’m going to go with a couple of friends so it should be pretty cool, I’m hoping that I’ll meet a lot of people out there so when I move to west coast, I at least know some people. I know people there now, but too much is never enough! ;)…I just joined pinuplifestyle.com. Bernie Dexter told me I should join and I met a few people in the NY area that were fans of the lifestyle. It’s sad that the scene here is almost non-existent.
As far as burlesque goes, I’ll probably start doing some stage kitten work in the next few weeks. Start making my way up the latter. I have a lot of amazing ideas that will probably blow the minds of so many people. I want to be creative, I want my costumes to be brilliant, I want to show the world what I’ve got.
cross your fingers for me X.
“Friends don’t exist”
Growing up I went through so many friends, however, the only ones Ive managed to keep are the guys. What is it about us girls that enables us to be friends and stay as friends without any animosity, betrayal, gossip, or jealousy?. My issue has never been any of those things, In fact, my only issue was the fact that I wouldn’t open up with my friends. I have major trust issues, can you blame me?. I always thought that this was more of a positive issue than a negative issue because I’m sure it kept me away from alot of people who would have stabbed me in the back. I can always count on my gut feeling to keep me away from conniving people, but what If my gut feeling starts keeping me away from friends Ive had for a long time now, friends I felt safe with. I’m wondering….Is it me?, could this be me panicking from my last experiences?
This year has definitely broken me down, the people I thought would never hurt me, have, and friends just fade in and out. People change, I guess that was never a reality I chose to except, but we do, and with those changes come sacrifices, It just sucks because I feel like I have always been the same. Ive always been loyal, I take loyalty to the heart and if anyone is slightly decietful, I will distance myself and never be the same. Maybe people come in and out of our lives because we learn from each other, and when we learn all that we can from them, they coincidentally fade…
I don’t know..but for a week now I have distanced myself for some breathing room, I have alot to think about, and alot to evaluate before I get back to the world of “friends”.