The Mind.

“There are times when you simply must stop thinking — but how do you do that? The first rule is don’t try to, because if you do, you will be like someone trying to make rough water smooth with a flat iron, and all that will do is stir it up. You have to know how to leave your mind alone; it will quiet itself.”

I always thought anxiety wasn’t that big of a deal until I started experiencing what anxiety really is. For the past two years its made my life a living hell. I can’t get my mind to be quiet, I have trouble sleeping, I lose my appetite, and I have trouble knowing how to deal with it. Now when people say they have anxiety, I have a better understanding of what its like when your chest closes up, your walls start feeling like they are caving in, you worry about things that may or may not be real, and you can’t shut your mind off. I often have to shut myself out from the world completely just to think straight and its caused me, my friends, and my family grief having to deal with this on going problem. I’ve never really spoken about it in public but I thought it might help to be honest about this issue just incase any of you are going through the same thing. That constant worry and dealing with triggers that remind you of past traumas is sometimes debilitating. Lately, I haven’t been able to keep my anxiety under control. Its even worse when you feel no one really understands. I am going to see a therapist which is not very easy to say but if any of you have any tips, I would greatly appreciate it.

I listen to Alan Watts a lot. He is an incredible philosopher who sometimes gets me through my day. This video helped me today and I though I would share it with all of you. If any of you are going through the same thing, I wish you a fast and wonderful recovery and hope that I, too, can learn to let go of worry.

XOXO

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7 Comments on “The Mind.

  1. Hoping you get the help you need to bring some comfort into your life. Nice that you are reaching out. We are here for you. Love you.

  2. Alan Watts kicks major butt. I think it’s incredible you found him and I hope you can find that space of inner peace 🙂

  3. Hi Jasmin.. I just wanted to respond to your post. It was really inspiring to read. I’ve been suffering on and off with anxiety and sadness since I was about 12 years old. I’m in my early 40s now and it’s definitely been a struggle. I met a wonderful therapist in my 30s and she helped me tremendously. Sometimes you just need an objective person to hear your thoughts and tell you how s/he sees it, from the outside looking in. I would become so wrapped up in my own thoughts, until I would practically obsess over certain things. I would take one detail or one event and relive it in my mind until I had spun an out of control story in my own head. I would question whether I was was overreacting or if I was simply following my “gut instinct.” It was hard to tell after a while and that in itself was exhausting and stressful.
    I can also empathize with triggers. It can be a picture, a movie, a scent, a conversation on the radio. I sometimes find myself avoiding contact with people, even social media, because I don’t want to trigger my sadness or anxiety.
    Unfortunately my therapist has retired so for now I am tasked with my own self healing. It’s hard because sometimes family and friends aren’t able to understand how debilitating this is and I don’t want to burden them. I’ve been writing in my journal.. The free flow of thoughts is similar to how I would communicate with my therapist. It allows me to unload whatever is on my mind and try to analyze the why of it all. I try to remember that a lot of the people and thoughts I put my sadness/anxiety on, are simply representations or manifestations of a more complex under current. I know if I figure out the root of it all, these feelings will not be so overpowering. But that’s the tricky part, figuring out the who, why and when of it all. It’s like a puzzle and the right therapist can assist in putting the pieces back together.
    I’ve also been doing some creative things, like watercolors, poetry. I want to learn new things as well, like makeup artistry, just to reaffirm that I am still learning and that I can still be proud of myself for small accomplishments. Even exercise and eating healthy helps you to feel stronger overall, which helps because the struggle with anxiety is emotionally overwhelming.
    Many blessings to you as you overcome this issue. Just from reading your blogs, I sense that you are such a strong and beautiful woman. You will be just fine, it simply takes time and bravery to confront things that sometimes are a little uncomfortable..
    I know that I don’t know you but if you ever feel like reaching out, I am here.
    Have a lovely day 💐☀️🎈

  4. Hi Jasmin, Check out the work of Eckhart Tolle, which is primarily based around keeping your mind and body in the present moment. In the present moment there is no suffering from worrying about the future or thinking about the past. The present moment is all we ever have and we spend so much of our lives worrying about things which are out of our control – both in the past and future. A meditation / yoga or even just taking 10 minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing is an amazing way to stay present, connected to yourself and relieve inner tension and stress. Wishing you all the best, I’m currently working towards starting a blog which helps people through modern life struggles so send me an email if you like and I can send you some more links which may be helpful. Love Anna Fantail from New Zealand ❤

  5. Thank you so much for writing this. I’m a former counselling psychologist and one of the most common things we’d work with would be anxiety and panic attacks, but people really hate talking about them publically so you’d get a double whammy of people not understanding what they were feeling or what they could do about it.
    I’m currently coping with some anxiety issues of my own, and day to day I find CBT quite helpful, though long term I’m not so convinced of it 🙂

  6. Hi Jasmin, I get what that’s like, I had pretty bad anxiety/fear throughout my teens enmeshed with panic attacks that were self induced because I could get to such a worried/ fearful state simply by focusing on my thoughts. Although I don’t think I’d categorize my experience of it as a disorder and have not been diagnosed as such, I do know what it’s like to feel like you have “mental blinders” on and can’t seem to think or focus on anything else but what’s worrying you. I can recommend a book that helped me very much, it’s been two years but since reading I have had way, way, WAY less panic attacks and less fear. It’s called the 21 day consciousness cleanse by Debbie Ford. I’d also would like to say that during the time that you feel anxious, remember to take deep breaths (I know it may be hard to remember, it took me years to get this simple step) and take gentle care of yourself, treat/soothe yourself the way you would treat a scared child. I also have a blog regarding sensitivity called Sensitive Souls Speak if you’d like some more tips and resources on emotional overwhelm, thank you for being so vulnerable and reminding me and others that we are not alone.

  7. Hi Jasmin! Thanks for sharing your story – you’re not alone! Anxiety *is* treatable and I hope your therapist can help you find ways to cope with your anxiety, because you deserve it! xo

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