Stay full.

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I am an avid user of Tumblr and always say if someone really wanted to get to know me all they’d have to do is look at my tumblr. It’s a plethora of my own layers; things I love, hate, am inspired by, feel, and more. Recently I came across a quote that I feel really nails the idea of soul mates and love by John Paul Brammer and thought I would share it with you all since it put things into perspective for me.
“One day, I realized he might not exist. My soulmate, I mean.

I realized there might not be someone walking around this earth just waiting to meet me. Someone with a private world just as intricate as mine that, one day, I would get to share and be a part of and know.

And I realized I was keeping a vacant spot in my heart for this person who might not exist. That I wasn’t allowing myself to be whole because how could I be whole with my other half missing?

It was an excuse, of course. A simple view of life that would exempt me from having to put in the effort of filling myself up with the love I was waiting for someone else to supply.

The reality is this: Life is a churning, chaotic thing with no guarantees, and in the throws of the tumbling you might run into people to hold on to for a while. Sometimes for a night, sometimes for life.

And holding on to someone is a worthy thing. A wonderful thing. Something to look forward to and appreciate and embrace with your whole heart.

But the love you get from holding on to someone will never be as reliable as the love you can give yourself. Right here. Right now.

So here’s my advice. Be open to love, but don’t be empty for it.

Open, Not Empty – John Paul Brammer

I hope this hit a soft spot for all of you too.<3

Not sure if I believe in solemates, but I do believe in unconditional love. I’m living proof of it. However, love chooses you, and that’s the sad part. You don’t get to choose who you love but you get to choose how you express it or not. You could go on loving the wrong person unconditionally while they love someone else. It’s a scary possibility. So all I can do is love myself and always just a tad bit more than I love someone else. This is how you stay grounded instead of falling with no parachute. This is how you avoid, emptiness.

Love you all<3

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4 Comments on “Stay full.

  1. First, Happy Birthday!

    I agree with what you’re saying. You are a priority. There’s that famous Maya Angelou quote

    “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

    Whenever I talk to someone about careers, they always ask how can get people to hire them. And I ask bluntly, “Are you hirable?”

    I think the same can be said for people in search for loving relationships. Are you someone that a person would want to love? Are you a good human being? Do you have purpose? Are you loving to people? Generous? Do you care about your body and take care of it?

    Or do you have no ambition. Snarky all the time. Negative. Anxious. Mean?

    It’s so dangerous and toxic to try to find someone, believing its going to define and give meaning to your life.

    I love the idea of soulmates and love, but I don’t think it has to be a magical, uncontrollable force in order for it to be meaningful. People tend to define soulmates as a predetermined, destined person they were meant to match with.

    Why can’t it just be someone that you share interests, views on life, love, philosophies with who you CHOOSE to be with? I also don’t believe it has to be ONE person. Our love isn’t finite. We can have connections, as romantic or platonic as we want it to be, that fulfill all of our desires. To put all that pressure into one person seems unrealistic and unfair.

    I hope you had a wonderful birthday, here’s the another year!

    – Peter

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