Numbers and labels.
Women all over the world deal with weight issues on a daily basis and some take the healthy route by counting calories, eating healthy, and exercising..while some take the unhealthy route by bingeing and purging. This is a sensitive subject for many women who are fragile to the standards of our harsh society. So many of these women let the scale determine their worth and I had to address the subject as someone people turn to for advice on the subject.
I always get messages from women asking about my weight, measurements, and exercise regime. For all of you who don’t know, I am a size 2, 5’1, and my measurements are 34-24-38 today. I do not exercise but I certainly should and I do not eat the healthiest meals. I have certainly gained and lost weight throughout the years and have tried to keep my weight steady but only for one reason, to be able to still fit my clothes lol. My opinion of my weight has nothing to do with how the world perceives me, I could careless what they think. Most people who don’t know me, could assume I am a size 6 or 8 from my photos because I am curvaceous, and I don’t mind, it does not offend me. My weight does not define me. I love my body and though there are some things I would love to change, like my stubborn skin (I have keyloids on my back/chest, picture above for reference). I acknowledge that I am not perfect and have learned to embrace the things that make me different.
I used to be a lot like many of these women so I can relate. I didn’t have weight issues, but I always felt different from other girls in a negative way. I felt disconnected. I wasn’t a popular kid growing up and went through constant bullying and have even been in physical altercations for being the “black sheep”. I felt ugly and exhausted myself with self-destructive hatred. I became infuriated to the point of isolation. I only dealt with it differently, I put my pain into my art work. I would draw beautiful women until I realized, I was my own work of art. If you are not utilizing your pain as positive motivation to do something productive, you are WASTING your time. Now I have a different opinion of myself. I have cellulite, I have stretch marks, and I have bad skin, but I am human, I am a woman, and I am beautiful the way I am. 12 years later, I am fully embraced and have become a successful little “black sheep” and I wouldn’t change my past for anything in the world, as it made me the strong woman I am today. I’ve become somewhat immune to criticism and though I am human and have feelings, I have learned that the best way to deal with negativity is to respond by educating, loving, or ignoring these types of people. They say “those who are the most undeserving of love deserve the most love of all”. Hateful people hate themselves, love them and watch them change.
I find it ironic that people associate size, a single number, with how curvy or skinny someone is. I know women who are size 8’s who are skinnier than me and women who are size 2’s that are curvier than me. So why is it that women cringe when they hear “size 10”? I also know GORGEOUS women who are size 16’s and size 4’s!
I have worked many retail jobs, I was once a bra fitter at Agent Provocateur and have even dressed women in cocktail dresses at Betsey Johnson. I cannot tell you how many times women would not try on their actual size because the number made them angry. Even working with UK brands like Karen Millen, where sizes run small, women did not want to listen and go a size up. The number frightened them so much, they’d run out of the store in frustration. It is always so mind-boggling to me that women can be this fragile about a size 6 or a 10, allowing a single number to ruin their entire shopping experience when they look great. “My boobs are too big”. “My ass is too small”. These days the perfect body is attainable. You can take the healthy and safe exercise route or you can visit a plastic surgeon. You couldn’t get me to be ok with going under the knife if my ass went flat tomorrow, it still wouldn’t be important enough to go through such lengths but to each their own. If something makes you unhappy, I support change. However, if you are doing it for all of the wrong reasons, maybe what you need is therapy and not another plastic surgery session. What I have noticed is that plastic surgery gets out of control sometimes. It becomes an addiction until these women start to look like that cat lady. Go ahead, google her. I am positive she has BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder) where the affected person is concerned with body image, manifested as excessive concern about and preoccupation with a perceived defect of their physical features. In other words, they have a distorted and exaggerated interpretation of what they look like. This IS an illness and I wish these women would see their true beauty.
In the 1950’s these trends were the total opposite. Women took more strides to take care of themselves, curves were embraced, and skinny girls were certainly not “trending”. However, though I am a lover of the 1950s, I cannot agree with that “trend” either. Who’s to say a curvy girl is better than a skinny girl? Some skinny girls are NATURALLY skinny. Some of them can’t gain any weight because they have a faster metabolism. We are all designed differently for a reason, could you imagine how boring the world would be if we all were the same colors, sizes, and shared the same personalities?This is as stupid as racism. This is as stupid as the war between natural hair girls, and girls who wear weave. This is as stupid as homophobes verses homosexuals. This is just stupid, period, and it’s mind-boggling to me that people can argue over who is better than who because of a scale.
One thing I do love about the 50’s was how amazing their undergarments were. Sometimes when I have a food baby, I like to bust out one of my rago girdles or my spanx. Yup, I am a size 2 and I still rock spanx. Being curvy does not mean you can’t rock clothes the way thin girls do. It is important to know your body and know what works for your figure. Want a tinier waist? Where a waspie. Wan’t less curves? Avoid peplum styles, empire waist dresses, and bootcut/flaired jeans. Go with skinny pants, or more form-fitting dresses with the right undergarments. Have a big bust? Get a bra fitting and find a great bra that works for different pieces. I suggest that women always have at least 1-2 strapless bras, 3-5 regular bras, and always go for colors like nude, black, and white to go with different outfits.
Work that thin figure girl.
I know thin girls who eat like bears and can’t gain weight. Many of them admire the curves of thicker women. Again, I will say, know your body and what silhouettes of clothes you should wear. Don’t have hips? Wear peplum dresses, A-line skirts, and boot cut jeans. Have a small bust? Where a molded cup or padded bra.
There are clothes for every type of women out there. Have fun exploring what suits you best.
Men don’t care about stuff like this.
Men don’t care to compare their weight to other men so why do women do this? You will find men who love curvy girls and men who love thin girls. They don’t give a shit about cellulite or a flat butt. If they find a girl who intrigues them, all of that goes straight out the window. If a guy does care about those little shallow things, then maybe it is best that you never date him. It takes a mature man to embrace a real woman. Understand that, and apply it to your dating applications.
Our modern society and fashion world plays a huge role in the weight issues of women today. Magazines and the media always have subjects about celebrities and their weight. These types of stories are infectious like the plague, affecting women every single day in the worst ways. Being in the fashion world and observing “some” of the people, I realize part of the fashion world has become somewhat of a cult. A cult I want absolutely nothing to do with. A cult of women who think they are fashion GODS, who love boasting about diet pills, cigarettes, and salads. They prance around, noses in the air, bashing curvy girls and those “poor women who shop at Steve Madden”. I can’t help but laugh at how ignorant they are. As ignorant as curvy girls who bash naturally skinny women. They don’t realize they share the same fears as the women they make fun of. They fear the scale…and even worse, they allow high-end labels to be an addition in validating their worth. What a truly sad generation we live in. I want no part of it.
I think it is important to be sensitive and careful about making public statements about weight. As someone who has stood up to the bullying of “fat” and “skinny” girls all my life and has been around many women who have had eating disorders, nothing grinds my ears more than a person of influence who abuses their power to speak about the subject in a negative way. I just think projecting hatred towards other women about their weight is really a reflection of self-hatred and fear. They say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. It doesn’t take much to keep an offensive opinion to yourself. All it takes is one negative comment to send someone who admires you into a self-destructive binge and purge session. With that said, I feel sorry for all of those tumblr accounts that are promoting anorexia and other eating disorders. I know it must be hard to be in that dark place without the colorful vibrancy of a really amazing and tasty cheeseburger. However, I do hope that these”brainwashed” women learn to embrace/promote a healthier lifestyle instead of allowing this “trend” to consume them.
Imagine how amazing life would be, if we didn’t care what people thought of us?
I think if we are to promote weight loss, we need to do it in a more productive way. Instead of insulting women about their weight, we should be encouraging them to just be “HEALTHY”. Promote self-health not self-hatred. I, of all people, need to start eating healthier. I have no energy, I am always tired, my bones ache almost every day, and I can’t even run up a flight of stairs without feeling like I can’t breathe lol. This isn’t a weight issue, this is a health issue. I acknowledge that and will be joining a gym and eating healthier this year (when I stop procrastinating). If you have an issue with your weight, just exercise and eat right. There are tons of great and tasty recipes on the internet and youtube videos about exercising. Tune out those negative thoughts and turn them into fuel as motivation to be a healthier version of you. The only opinions about your weight that should ever count, are your own.
We are all paintings, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know it is sometimes hard to believe there are people out there who will love and embrace you for the art that you are, but they will. That is a fact not an opinion. I know burn victims, paraplegics, and people with disabilities who have found love and embrace what makes them different. These are people with real issues, learn from them.
Well that’s the end of my rant.
Your resolution this year is to be healthy, strong, and successful. Nothing more, nothing less.