My mother always told me…

“Friends don’t exist”

Growing up I went through so many friends, however, the only ones Ive managed to keep are the guys. What is it about us girls that enables us to be friends and stay as friends without any animosity, betrayal, gossip, or jealousy?. My issue has never been any of those things, In fact, my only issue was the fact that I wouldn’t open up with my friends. I have major trust issues, can you blame me?. I always thought that this was more of a positive issue than a negative issue because I’m sure it kept me away from alot of people who would have stabbed me in the back. I can always count on my gut feeling to keep me away from conniving people, but what If my gut feeling starts keeping me away from friends Ive had for a long time now, friends I felt safe with. I’m wondering….Is it me?, could this be me panicking from my last experiences?

This year has definitely broken me down, the people I thought would never hurt me, have, and friends just fade in and out. People change, I guess that was never a reality I chose to except, but we do, and with those changes come sacrifices, It just sucks because I feel like I have always been the same. Ive always been loyal, I take loyalty to the heart and if anyone is slightly decietful, I will distance myself and never be the same. Maybe people come in and out of our lives because we learn from each other, and when we learn all that we can from them, they coincidentally fade…

I don’t know..but for a week now I have distanced myself for some breathing room, I have alot to think about, and alot to evaluate before I get back to the world of “friends”.

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3 Comments on “My mother always told me…

  1. friends are always a tricky subject. it’s hard to find ones that actually you can almost consider family. i don’t have alot of girl friends since usually the guys stick around the longest since ironically, they are the most drama-free. each person is meant to come in your life to either assist to where you need to be or teach you something you may not have been able to call out yourself. as many people as i may know, i could only say i have one true best friend, i have been her best friend for almost 12 years and she has been the only that i can deal with her bs and she can deal with mine. its hard to not have trust issues. but with my bf, there really isn’t any holding back or not opening up, whenever there is an issue it is addressed and solved..moving forward..u know? each year, we reevalute our friendship and call out any underlining issues, i mean we don’t sit here, like okay, lets have a meeting, its just something that has casually happened everytime new years rolls around. you should open up to people and have less of a guard up because that can work against you and you’ll know which ones are the bad apples, those you keep your distance, and call them acquaintances like i do!

  2. I’ve never had much of a social life…
    the only person I have down here (orlando FL) is my Boyfriend.. and although a lot of people can look down on that, he and I r really best friends, and like any kind of friendship/relationship you never know if that person will one day hurt you really bad, or if you will hurt them. We do fight even like brother and sister, vulgar and vicious but we are so honest with each other too. we literally know each other inside out.. all the gross stuff and all the cool stuff.
    its funny what you mentioned about guy friends vs girls… i just asked my BF if he thought it would be weird if i made guy friends… i feel like most of the guys at my job r genuinely cool as opposed to the girls (EVERY ONE TALKS SO MUCH SHIT ABOUT EACHOTHER)… but anywayyyy… i’ve always always always kept guy friends at a distance.. never talk to em on the phone, never talk about personal issues, i just never feel like you can FULLY trust a guy completely… cuz once they get a girlfriend that is jealous of urs and his relationship he would leave a cool friendship for pussy anydayyy I’ve seen it happen 1000 times over. and i would be that jelaous girlfriend too…lol. but anyway, nothing in this life is everlasting… NOTHING, so why would friendship be.

  3. Simplify.

    Don’t think about PEOPLE!!

    Think about YOU!

    You say that you value yourself, but you truly don’t. Please put value to the love that people like me give you. Start to love yourself. Fuck people.

    *Tips Hat*

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