I love tumblr and have been a member for about 2 years now. I find it to be inspiring and a good outlet for my branding. I have learned a lot by coming across old images of beautiful women of the 50′s and 60′s whilst being educated by their history. However, from time to time I come across images that leave a bad taste in my mouth. Images that express hatred for women who are fat, skinny, tall, small, wear makeup, don’t wear makeup, photoshop, or don’t photoshop. Throughout history and In the late 1950’s women were becoming disgruntled with their place in society and the inability to achieve equality with men. How is it that we, as women who have evolved, now have to be concerned about our place in society against other women? When did we stop uniting and start fighting? Who are we supposed to be to be accepted in this society? Why is it that most of this shaming comes from women themselves? Do men do this to other men? Do they even care?
These are the questions that have been running through my mind lately. How can people be this judgemental and not accepting of other people’s choices? Is all this shaming a new form of racism? Have people become so religiously judgemental that they feel the need to shove their theories down our throats?
Who died and made you god?
*Disclaimer: What I love about this Dove Ad is that it celebrates women of all sizes. However, true beauty is in a person’s character and sexy is defined by the eye of the beholder.
I find it hard to believe such people exist…People who create tumblr blogs shaming women who eat to celebrate exposed bones and sunken cheeks. Or how about those “real women have curves” ads or this Dove image above (Not sure if they created it) ? I have seen commercials and support their efforts of creating campaigns that embrace women of all shapes and sizes and though I am all about celebrating a woman’s true form and I understand that Dove is just trying to send a positive message opposite to those who are pro-skinny, we do not have to join in on the shaming by saying we are better than skinny women (only in regard to the image above). Two wrongs do not make a right. Women should not judge one another based on our shape, we should unite and join hand in hand skinny or curvaceous. I grew up eating everything in my mother’s fridge and I looked like a toothpick till it all caught up to me. Could they judge me then? Could they look at me, skin and bones, always eating, and say “She must not eat”? There are so many girls and women in the world who are vulnerable to this type of weight shaming, women and children who covet eating disorders, and some who even die from it. How can people be so cruel as to be inconsiderate of those who don’t have the strongest self-esteem? This weight shaming movement is an act of self-hatred. How can they take their pain and reflect it on others knowing how it makes them feel inside? As a curvaceous woman I understand sometimes wanting to fight back and say “eat a cheeseburger bitch”. However, we need to take the higher route and educate other women to just be “Healthy”. We must sympathize with or ignore these individuals that practice self-hatred and not let them dictate or validate our self-worth. If we are not comfortable with our body’s we have to make a lifestyle change to better ourselves whether it be eating better or exercising. To say I am better than you because I am skinny/fat is like saying I’m better than you because I wear black and you wear white. Stupid right? Yeah, so is racism.
“I don’t use photoshop on my photos, I have natural beauty”. Does that response to women who photoshop their pictures make YOU feel better about yourself? It seems many woman just try to find any reason at all to discredit another womans beauty. “She’s cute but…She’s smart but..She dresses well but”. I will be the first one to tell you that I definitely photoshop my photos and you know what? I look exactly the same in person as I do in my photos. I have cellulite and stretch marks on my legs and keyloids all over my back. Shamelessly, I photoshop my keyloids out and sometimes I smoothen my cellulite along with my stretch marks but sometimes…I just leave it there. My body is the same, my face is the same (unless I acquire a huge zit lol), and no one can tell me I look any different aside from the minor changes I make to my photos. Does any of this mean I do not love myself? no. My friends will tell you that I am extremely confident. I do not walk around in sweaters to hide my keyloids, I am not afraid to wear shorts that expose these thunder thighs, and I just embrace who I am to the world outside of the computer. It is MY CHOICE to put out images I feel comfortable with on my blog. I don’t feel like I should have to explain what keyloids are to thousands of my viewers. I understand that some women take photoshopping to a whole other level completely morphing themselves into entirely unrecognizable people, but shouldn’t that be a reason for us to be sympathetic that they haven’t discovered that they don’t need so much of it? I do agree that magazines have created body image fiascos and practice extreme photoshopping so to that aspect I understand photoshop shaming. 95% of the time they are changing more than just a few blemishes like body shapes, skin tone, and even hair color. I just saw a Christina Aguilera AD that had such terrible noticeable photoshopping that I was blown away by how it even made it into the magazine.I mean, the girl looks like a Sims character in her perfume Ad on the right but look at how beautiful she is (not photoshopped) on the left. Why did the photo editor feel the need to change her entirely? Whoever she hired needs to be fired.
Just recently this whole “Not photoshopped” shaming reached the blogosphere and I want to commend them on trying to send a positive message because I get it. I understand that they do NOT have negative intentions and I do not have anything against them. However, I do not believe (as bloggers) that they will or have been avoiding photoshop and whether they do or not, does it make them better than those who do? I just think people need to understand that sometimes a positive message can be condescending. I embrace the hell out of my body, does my moderate use of photoshop make me less of a person? This is can be misconstrued as another form of prejudice and it’s like these makeup shamers who are preaching “I look better than you because I don’t wear makeup”.
“Girl’s who wear makeup are insecure. I love myself for who I am and I don’t need makeup to feel beautiful”. Really? Do you want a biscuit? Do you want a trophy because you avoid the makeup section at your local duane read? Well congratulations! So I guess this means makeup artists all over the world who love makeup and the art they can create with it are just insecure right? I find it crazy that makeup artists have created careers based on such a lack of self-esteem (sarcasm). Does a person have to paint on a canvas to be considered an artist? Does it offend you that they like to be artistic in the form of makeup? Is it so preposterous that I, like many other women, use makeup to enhance the face I already love? Exactly. Don’t want to wear makeup? GOOD for you but don’t parade around about it like the world owes you some medal of honor. That’s like saying “I am better than you because I don’t care about what I wear everyday”. Ok, want to look normal? that’s great but that is your personal choice. That does not validate who is better than who. I only believe makeup is a problem when it is used in excess. Just like photoshop, I feel everything should be done in moderation. I believe it is a problem when you feel you HAVE to wear makeup to be beautiful and yes that is a problem many women need to address but to assume we are all lacking self-esteem because we wear makeup is judgemental and another form of prejudice. We are ALL beautiful the way we are and we all have a choice. Makeup is not/should not be mandatory. Makeup should be fun and used only to enhance who we already are. If you embrace yourself, learn to embrace other people and their choices. Stop preaching self-hatred by practicing anti this and anti that.
I think as women we need to be PRO-HEALTH and PRO-CHOICE and UNITE as WOMEN. We need to encourage positive body image by celebrating all types of women and the choices they make for their “own” lives because that is not our business or our right to judge them.
I want to say thank you to all of you who take the time to support and not judge me, those of you who see me and understand me for who I am versus what I look like. I am not perfect and never will be and I am ok with that <3